Citizens of the Earth and the rest of the known universe – I’m sorry, for s*** is about to go down!!
The balance of awesome and f***-this-s*** has shifted immensely with an enormous peak in awesome yesterday, so brace yourself, and kiss your a** goodbye, because I don’t think...

i don’t want much afterall…
Submitted by a Humble Sinner on Sat, 06/21/2014 – 02:23

“Mercedes Benz”
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a rich cute boyfriend ?
My friends all ride Pooches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my...

I’m afraid that ten or twenty years from now there will be someone even worse than Justin Bieber.

I don’t want to die. Yet I am so afraid of my own success, whether in s***** relationships or personal growth, that everything always collapses around me, half-built. I am too afraid to let anyone in, but more to the point, I am too narcissistic to give anyone the chance....

I’ve always found friends through things I love, but yet, something always feels a bit empty in those friendships. They always drift away when the same things are no longer liked anymore. Sometimes you get really attached to these people, spending years getting to know each other and all staying...

Things were much more decent when my grandpa was a kid. But it had to happen, we had to give them ‘rights’. We gave them an inch with the right to vote, then later they demanded a f****** mile! They should’ve been grateful we gave them that inch, but they...

So. When I was younger, I. Kinda like.. Poped my own cherry, not knowing what to tell people when they asked I said I was, in a way, raped. I feel bad, yet I don’t. I mean I am older now, Ive had s** once, though It was really nothing,...

I’m laying in bed next to my gf jacking off thinking about another woman

I often ponder what it would be like; life; without me – in this household, at least. I know that nothing will change in the real world, and I’ve come to terms with that. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am nothing special – just a carbon...

I am so attracted to my church’s preacher. He is so funny and sweet. Kinda awkward sometimes. We talk and sometimes I dont know what to say. I’m so ashamed I feel this way towards him.

For 9 – going on 10 months, I’ve been living with an Eating Disorder. I’ve been hiding it from my friends, my family – everyone. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, but I will not be satisfied until I am 88 lbs. See, my rational-thinking side is telling me...

I want to be with the man I love

would you post or hand deliver and slip it in their mailbox in the middle of the night, a dogs turd to someone you hated? or poo in their letter box? or something else nasty? like a snake or mouse trap or something that sprung out at them? hehehehe!

I find that the depression is hiding. It lurks behind the protection the darkness of the forgotten corners of my mind offers. It is waiting for the appropriate time to strike. To take its hold of me while I find myself at my lowest point, the only thing keeping me...

I honestly think nicki minaj is hot with out all that crap on. I wish I could f*** her and Katy Perry at the same time, but one can only dream.

I honestly think nicki minaj is hot with out all that crap on. I wish I could f*** her and Katy Perry at the same time, but one can only dream.

I honestly think nicki minaj is hot with out all that crap on. I wish I could f*** her and Katy Perry at the same time, but one can only dream.

Sometimes, I like to m********* to the images of my female friends naked. It’s strangely easy for me.

I love puffy big n******.

this morning it was like …well , hurry up and hump me and get it over with I am trying to read the paper in bed!

I give up!

I wash my hands with Johnson & Johnson’s baby shampoo because I just love the smell of it.

she got this convicted screw loose with her weirdo style of judgment, you know, you don’t want to know what he did but.

I have a real thing for fresh puffy teen t***.

oh hhm she forgets that I was there!

Brittany Mongeau gets me h**** when I see her little 34b breasts and that big old booty. I wanna f*** her and her mom. Her mother Kris looks like an older version of her. I wanna f*** them side by side and get them both pregnant. Brittany is like 28...

how to have s** with a goldfish. I fantasize about seeing a guy stick his ##### in a fish bowl or tank and let this goldfish s*** at his ##### in water. next move on the crayfish, sand-crab, lobster and jellyfish, porcupine, etc is this normal?

i seen a girl shove a mango up her ##### and give birth to it later as a party trick. omg

i seen these pics of asian girls having s** with live octopuses talk about o******** ! tentacles coming out her ##### with octopus head up her cu nt. then a guy with octopus tentacles around his b*** hole and sucking on his #####.Cephlorotica and Tentacle erotica, this is big craze...

i WANT to get a serious psychological diagnosis when i go to this therapist. maybe then people will f****** believe me and i can f****** feel happy and sane for once.

I have thought about a cousin in a s***** way

I have been in multiple relationships that leave me feeling empty and unsatisfied. I would always end the relationships early on as I realized we are not meant to be. I would lie and tell these men that life has brought on stuff that has given me no time for...

wish you knew how much I love you. no expectations. no needing you. just want you to know that I am in love with you.

I have lice and I don’t wanna tell my parents..

I had this dreams that I could look at my scalp and I had a bunch of puss filled pimples and bumps and a hole in the middle of my scalp that all the bugs come from and that scared...

When I was in 7th grade I made out with 3 guys within a 10 minute intermission to Les Miserables.

When I’m while on my period I like to sit on the ground and watch the blood mix into the water.

I was just diagnosed with leukemia and testicle cancer. The doctors say there is no possible way, but I think it’s because I have been working with my computer on my lap for the last ten years.

Does anyone ever fall for the phishing scams anymore? The African prince or the young lady in the refugee camp? It’s pretty obvious they’re using photos from FaceBook.

I often wonder where the f*** you are at when you know I don’t love you anymore. Then it occurred to me you’re just as sick and twisted as the rest. You step on people to make yourself feel better, and it isn’t any wonder to me why you’re alone....

I’m engaged. Been together 9 months. I have an 8mo old son from a previous relationship. My fiancé took on the father role almost immediately and I couldn’t be more thankful. But, I recently became friends with a married man. Even more recently, I slept with this man. We became...

My family thinks I am horribly lecherous and that I need to “get my act together”. Although the only reason I obnoxiously flirt with women is because I’m terrified my family will find out I’m gay. Some of my family members wont be okay with me being gay. This scares...