I am a f****** coward, afraid of what people think. Everyday, I see the neediness in people that reflect my own incapabilities, and I have nobody I can trust. I hate my life but have done nothing to change it, instead I give myself excuses and ”reasons” to make myself feel better when in fact, I just can’t f****** stop lying to myself and start changing s***. I feel horrible now, and I feel burdened by all my pretentious b*******, and half f*** lies that cover up the real reasons why I am so fucked up. I want success but have no guts to face the people and challenges that deter me in all ways that they may. I resort to oversleeping, and other means to dull my consciousness to run away from this heavy feeling I experience. And, I am not brave enough to reach out to the people who can help me, because I fear that I choose comfort over my resolve and disappoint them like the many I have already left faithless in me. I am the worst p************ on the planet and deserve to be wiped out because I am just a puny weak f*** of a man. Might I also add, that I am clueless right now and have no idea how to go about.
