I am reasonably confident that i have proof of alternate universes, but it is anecdotal and not publishable. My proof? In any other universe I can imagine, being caught by my mother in law on my back bare a** naked on the bottom of what is bluntly but most easily described as a homosexual 69 with the dog would be completely life ruining, personally or otherwise. I was so lost in it that i had no idea she was standing there watching until it ended. She had a deadpan look on her face and was not saying a word, obviously i was ashamed and horrified and bolted from the room, sobbing in the shower realizing my entire life was ruined and trying to brace myself for the ruin. I was shocked when i came out of the shower and she was sitting there calmly. She asked me to sit down and let her talk. She struggled for words but basically said she was sorry because she understood how sick i must feel right then. She said she knew such things happened but had always assumed that the only reason they did was out of desperation because she knew what men go thru when they lose control of themselves in lust. That she had suspected her daughter and i were no longer having s**. She even told me how sorry she was that i felt so pathetic and desperate. Then came the questions. How long it had been going on. Why was it in homosexual form. I just poured it all out sobbing. She finally calmed me down telling me that she could not bring herself to tell mt wife because she did not want to be the bearer of such news and she cared about me enough as her son in law to not destroy my life either. She asked me to promise her i would not do it again and i told her i would do my best but that there were things about it that were very addictive, especially since i had started as a teen and that her daughter was the only woman i had ever been with. That it was both natural and comfortable to me and while i felt horrible and disgusting afterwards that it was the only form of s** i was drawn to because it was fulfilling and rejection free. We even talked abstractly about her observation that it was clearly not forced. I explained to her that i had in the past engaged in it with female dogs as well as a teen but that that did feel like force or r*** even though i had been very cautious and gentle. She eventually strangely went into what i call negotiation mode. Asked me if i felt i was capable of limiting it to receiving only because she felt that whether it was a man or a dog she saw it as degrading myself to return the oral act. She even asked me if i would avoid the concepts of being mounted by the dog and i assured her that while i had been curious about that and attempted it i had never succeeded and no longer tried to accomplish. She seemed relieved by that. She insisted that i communicate with her if i found myself tempted to degrade myself moving forward. I was so relieved that my life was not about to blow up i would have agreed to anything obviously and as the days passed i came to understand her feelings about degrading or unmanning myself. I was so ashamed that anyone knew, especially her, that i was able to resist but the longer i went without s** it became difficult again and it was a matter of her becoming my lifeline. Flash forward months go buy and it became a matter of her touching base daily and then multiple times daily when she knew my wife would be out and about. One day she came over unannounced while my wife was gone and told me she had found herself reaching a decision that was uncomfortable but necessary. She offered herself as a form of surrogate to help me not risk degrading myself again and do what she could to keep my sexless marriage to her daughter intact. She told me she had tried to the degree possible to speak to her daughter about things without revealing the depths to which i had sunk but her daughter refused to listen. My mother in law told me i needed to accept her decision and help and boundaries and she started cuddling and holding me and helped me develop an “healthy” relationship with my body through m***********. Obviously an inevitable slippery slope that progressed into her m*********** me and things going too far and eventually offering herself completely, and even that soon became more than just detached s e x u a l surrogacy. It became completely mutual love making. As that comfort grew she found ways to let me help her enjoy many things she had long been curious about but had not been able to talk to her husband about. She had quite a few curiousities and kinks and we both came to enjoy exploring them. One day we were passionately f****** on the living room floor and our dog came in and as dogs will try to investigate. I was on top of her with her legs up around my waist and my dog came up between my legs and his tongue was in my bottom and licking my t e s t i c l e s and i could not help but respond to the intense pleasure, and rather than being disgusted she learned as the dog,s tongue got to where she and i were joined whether it was just the shock of sensation or the taboo of it we did not stop until we had both climaxed. As i still lay on top of her the overexcited dog tried to climb onto and mount me. That broke us apart quickly and when i was out of and off her the dog buried his snout between her legs and she could not bring herself to stop him or ask me to stop him. I became her caretaker afterwards because now she was the one who was almost traumitized by her actions and acceptance of it and how much she had enjoyed it. There was a long talk as i held her shaking in my arms, but the dog was still excited and switched his licking to me. I tried to stop him but it was my mother in law who was caught in the moment and asked me to let it happen. I was incoherent squirming with ecstacy and she ended up gripping and holding my g******* up and out for the dog to lick. She watched almost awestruck as i regained my erection and shuddered through another climax. This got my mother in law so wound up that she invited the dog to lick her again and only asked me to make the dog stop when she was too sensitive and too.mentally exhausted. She was soon sobbing in shame and i took her hand and led her to a bath for a long hot soak in my arms and more tears and self shame. I let her talk when she was able. Silence for a long while afterwards but eventually she began to take my hands in hers and guide them all over her body, as she began to talk about what she had seen and felt. We ended up in the bed with her straddling my hips and talking about what had just happened in lewd terms until she c a m e and collapsed on top of me and started being ashamed of herself all over again. She was more horrified about how much she had enjoyed what had happened tham she was about the fact that it happened. It was a topic that she kept coming back to. Not obsessively but it was not giving her any space. Weeks after, she surprised me by asking me to f*** her from behind on the living room floor. That position was not one of her favorites because she felt it objectified and degraded her, and we both preferred positions that allowed face to face closeness since we had become lovers, not just an alternate source for my needs I suspected something was up and was not wrong. Out of respect for myself and her i had started closing the bedroom door to keep the dog out. At times she spoke of that experience she often showed signs of guilt and shame towards herself, but always reassuring me that she did not blame me for it or hink it was intentional on my part. This day the dog was not confined and showed up pretty quickly, walking around whining and anxious as we slowly ground together with me in her from behind, keeping my hips tightly pressed against her bottom. She struggled to ask, so i simply coaxed the dog behind us to repeat the experience. In our position i was more accsessible to him but the nsture of the act had her shuddering and very vocal. A stream of lewdness came from her as the dog licked and i was trembling on her and inside her. She moaned about how she felt me twitching inside her and begged me to ejaculate in her so he could clean her up. The closest she came to shame this time waa cryiing god help me as the dog lapped her relentlessly after. Bathing and cuddling after she confessed she had noticed the dog’s projecring phallus as he paced and whined and dripped. Her moral compass shifted to sympathy for him, all her qualms about either of us degrading ourselves were gone. As she lay back in my arms in the bath she said every lurid thing in her mind as i masturbated her in the bath. Pandora was out of her box. In the coming days my mother in law asked me to repeat what she had first seen me do with my dog that fateful day months ago. She admitted that despite her gut revulsion seeing me under the dog in a 69 had been burned into her memory obsessively. The new adventues began and escalated. First kissing me after to taste him in my mouth. Helping and coaching her tbrough her own ezperiences with him. The first time she lay under him as i had, initially gagging at the texture and taste but unable to stop herself. Watching her eyes as they widened and then rolled incoherently as his first spurts in her mouth solidified permanently in her mind what she was capable of and hoe she enjoyed what she would have previously considered a disgusting perversion. I remember her nervousness when she was ready to offer the dog what he also needed, making sure she was not injured when he mounted her and dug in with his front legs around her torso and his organ stabbed repeatedly until i opened her with one gand and aimed him into her with the other. She sobbed despite herself as he plunged into her and started spilling his seed into her. How amazed she was when she was tied with him the first time how exhausted she was when he was finally able to break the tie and she moaned with joy as my mouth went to her the second time she was fully bred. That first time she was fully seeded by him i gently and lovingly eased her down onto her side then back as she lay there post breeding and even reached down to herself to feel it trickling out of herself. The way she tasted her fingers after and was nearly in tears when i begged her to share it with me. The long sensual kissing after as she and i shared all our tastes. How she loved having me bury my face in her with my bottom and sac tongue bathed and i moaned my bliss into her. The day she was blown away by my desire after his knot popped free and i immediately plunged my own organ into her, gasping and groaning as she felt me thrust and grind into the soaked wetness of her canine bred womb, spilling my own seed into her gaping depth, happily cuckolding myself to her in the most obsceme way possible. We still mostly have very loving and gentle s** in simple ways, but when she needs to indulge her raw lusts again, both my dog and i are instantly ready. We have been lovers for nearly 2 years now, and when she is ready, she wants to help and witness the dog mounting and breeding my backside. It has been a surreal ezperience that only grows, and she reveled when the dog bred her under the moonlight in our back yard. And caught in that moment, i found myself, as soon as the dog dismounted and she collapsed spent in the grass, wiithout a thought standing over her and urinating on her. She gasped then wantonly reveled in my stream and rubbed it all over her skin. She reached up to welcome me into her arms and foully bred p**** again as our skin clung with the scent of my bladder as she liftrd her hips rapildy begging me to empty myself into her. In the bath as always after, she said that it was as if i was remarking her to reclaim her as my own no matter thst the dog had just bred her. I told her that i wanted her to mark snd reclaim me as hers ehrn she hss him tie snd breed me. She laighed and asked why she had to wait and i told her she didn,t have to wait. She turned to look at me in a way she never had before, and dared to speak what i have been thinking…..leavimg my wife snd marrying her. I told her i was rrady for that day when she was. I told her it was inevitable. She kissed me longingly and we moved to my bed, and made love slower snd sweeter than ever before and it was agony for us both when she had to leave. We are talking about how to have the conversation with my soon to be ex wife.

i tried nitrous for the first time last week, on his birthday. it was kind of underwhelming. i think i already have a tolerance from past ketamine abuse since it acts on the same receptors

i am thinking of doing ketamine again. i do it every few months or so now. im tired of snorting lines though and ive been thinking a lot about injecting it again. IV is like a dream, but apparently its easy to “pass out” before you can take the needle out of your arm, so im worried about taking really high doses. IM takes a little more time, but it leaves you with muscle pain for a few days wherever you shoot it up.

ive had a plate of lines sitting in my room for like a month now. itd be easiest to do those, i just hate the long 12 hour comedown when i take enough for a k hole….