i think im a burden on others, no one truely “likes” me. I have friends i’ve known for years and years, yet it’s still awkward. I’m always the one initiating conversation, i’m the one asking to make plans, i’m the one checking up, i think if i just stopped talking everyone would forget i exist. I make space for myself when no one really invited me. It’s confusing, i can vent about this to those friends and they reassure me, but i think i’d just rather they tell the truth. I know they love me, but it’s an obligation, they might love me from all the years spent together, but i know they dont really like me as a person. And it’s so selfish of me, i could set them all free but i have no one else, i dont think i could take it, so im just stuck in this endless loop of feeling like not enough but too scared do anything. I want things to be like when i was a child.
স্যরি। আমি শুধু ভুলতে পারছি না, তাই। ক্ষমা করবেন।
I wish I were never even born. This life is the worst. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate being this gross person that nobody ever considers a human being. Just walk all over me. I don’t care anymore. Why God? Why did you have to make me like this? I just want to be normal. I want to be part of a family. I want my brothers and sisters to care about how I’m doing. We hate each other so much. I cry thinking about how other people love and care for one another. Im nothing to my family. Just a mistake nobody wanted. It’s ok to pretend we aren’t related in school because I’m fat and ugly. It fine, I don’t have feelings or anything. Go ahead and let them bully me. Sibling protection is only for attractive people. Anybody anywhere at any time can just do whatever to me and it won’t mean anything. I wish God had just not made me. Im nothing and I’ll always be nothing. You live it up with your big house and all your cars. Have a great life out there with all your grandkids. Don’t even think about me. Im just a grain of dirt under your boot
BODACIOUS BACKSNATCH
It’s the law. So deal with it you fascist trying to turn black people racist. It’s impossible. I’m black therefore I can’t be racist. The color of my skin proves it
That’s impossible I’m black therefore I can not be racist.
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Perry Kalynuk
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