I just want him to notice that I'm hurting without me having to spell it out for him like a 4 year old. How can you not see that I'm hurt by your actions?

4 years

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I just want him to notice that I’m hurting without me having to spell it out for him like a 4 year old. How can you not see that I’m hurt by your actions? I am so different from when I’m happy to when I’m upset like this. How can he not see. Why do I have to always initiate him being able to open his eyes and see that I’m upset when I’m literally right there next to him. How can he look right at me, see that I’m isolating and have tears in my eyes, and not connect that I’m hurt??? I don’t understand. I don’t know how much more obvious I can be. And yes, I’m aware that communication is healthiest and I should just go to him and talk to him when I’m upset, and not just “expect him to notice”, but god dammit if I don’t just want him to, once. For ONCE I want him to say “hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me, what’s the matter?’ rather than me having to go to him and say “hey, sorry this is somehow literally out of nowhere for you because you somehow didn’t know I’m upset, but here’s the issue:____”. Especially because it’s like he somehow doesn’t even know how to comfort me….. I’ve been with him for 2 years, how can he not know that I just want to be held and rocked a little while being told it’s all alright? I have to ask him everytime if he’ll do that for me after every long emotional brick-wall conversation with him; it makes it not feel as comforting. (Not to mention it always feels like he’d rather be anywhere else..) I don’t want to have to ask to be soothed for once.

New Confession

I have to admit it. I love flashing my c*** to women. I don’t even care how old they are, as long as they watch. I do it in my car, on webcams and even out hotel windows on the beach in Florida. My c*** is slightly larger than normal but can’t be described as huge. At least 2 women did comment on how hard my c*** is. So far, no women have participated but they haven’t reported me either.
I was holidaying in Florida and lying a lounge near the pool and the ocean where I could see lots of women in bathing suits. Across the deck from me, lying on a lounge was a black haired lady with b*******. She was wearing a tiny bikini and sunglasses. I positioned myself so that, if she looked up, she could see my hard c*** sticking out from under my shorts. She didn’t indicate one way or another and because of the sunglasses, I couldn’t tell if she was looking. After about 15 minutes or so, another lady approached her. I don’t think they were together. The lady spoke to her, I couldn’t hear what she said and then she left. My lady sat up, pulled the glasses up over her eyes and looked straight at me. It seemed like forever, but was probably less than a minute. She pulled the glasses down and lay back on the lounge without ever having acknowledged anything. I knew she had to have seen my c***. The only thing she did was bend her knee so I no longer had a view of her p**** area but she did nothing to hide her t***. I didn’t trust the other lady, so I got up and left. Still think about that.
One night I was cruising in my car with my d*** out looking for a flash opportunity, around 8 pm and it was dark. Up ahead was a female hitchhiking. She was wearing a real loose dress and she was perfect. My plan was to offer her a ride with my c*** out. If she got in, great, if not and she closed the door, cool. As she opened the door, before she got in, the interior light came on for an instant and she got a great look.
Unfortunately before she could do anything, I was so excited that my c** just exploded all over the place, and I reached over, closed the door and drove away leaving her on the side of the road.
I wonder what would have happened is she had gotten in.

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