I f****** hate you all. So much.
Living with aunt….i had been living with her for a week and it was good for me because she was monitoring me non stop but also giving me a safe outlet and managing me to stop letting my obsession with self pleasure consume me. Morning showers with her felt like they gave me more than just empty self indulgence. It was a wonderful experience and it was also getting me strongly attached to her. One night when i woke woth urges i obeyed her rule and went to her for cuddling and affection to help me avoid the self abuse. This time waa different though because she was sleeping bare and the urge got stronger and when i thought she was asleep i started touching myself. I found it impossible to stop was doing it as gently as i could and even though i was afraid of her realizing or finding the evidence the next morning i convinced myself that it was a different version of shower time. And that thinking was my mistake. Suddenly she spoke in the dark….simply saying she was so disappointed in me. I froze and started sobbing and apologizing. She remnded me that she had said there would be consequences and now i was going to realize it the hard way. I found myself at her direction lying on my stomach, bare, my erect flesh bent painfully downward between my legs, forced to put my hands in the small of my back and soundly spanked with the back of her hairbrush. It was not cruel but not gentle by any means. I was soon sobbing for mercy and saying how sorry i was but she did not stop and i was honestly panicking. She stopped briefly and told me not to move. She left for several moments and when she came back she ordered me to change position to what was basically head down a s s up but hands still in the small of my back. Then she began again and it seemed so much worse, because i learned afterwards she had gone to get a wooden spoon and she was spanking me not only on my cheeks but also the backs of my thighs. It seemed to go on forever and i was sobbing and pleading, i guess it would be described as i was broken mentally. She began a cycle of spanking and lecturing me. Basically boiled down to look what she was trying to do for me, modifying her life and home for me, and if i did not change my ways all i would do is prove that i was just a dirty helpless little mastur bator like my mother had said. She told me that the next time she caught me touching myself again without her permission that i would get spanked by the belt, and i learned that she had also while she was gone gotten my belt and she gave me several strikes with it and told me to remember what that felt like and how much worse it would be if it happened again. Finally it was over and i was sent back to my own bed to sob myself to sleep.
She wike me the next morning and told me to get dressed and join her in the living room. When i got there she handed me the phone after dialing my parents and i had to explain what i had done. She also talked to my mother herself so i could hear both sides of the conversation and they made sure that i heard my mother agree that my aunt punishing me was completely acceptable to my mother. There was no morning shower time that day nor was i allowed to touch myself before bedtime.
The next morning my aunt woke me and told me to get dressed and come to the living room again. When i got there the two sisters who lived next door and were the landlords (and my aunt’s long time lesbian lovers) were sitting there. My aunt made me admit why i was actually living there and what had happened, because the houses were close enough that they had heard my sobbing and screaming for mercy. My aunt made me confess what i had done and even made me say to them that i was a dirty little mas tur bator. She ordered me to turn and pull my pants down and show them the bruises on my cheeks. I was sobbing again at the humiliation. They told my aunt they understood now, and my aunt asked them if for some reason it was necessary in the future if they would do her the favor of babysitting me. They expressed sympathy for my aunt and told her they would be happy to and even gave their own opinion on my problem.
After they left it was a quiet day between my aunt and me and at bedtime i was told that i was no longer allowed to sleep or even be alone in my room. I felt so ashamed and miserable.
The next morning my aunt woke me and told me she was ready to put my filthy behavior in the past and try to move forward, and welcomed me to a resumption of our morning showers together. I became e r ect but was terrified to even want to touch myself. When we got in the shower my aunt simply showered normally and got dried off and put her robe on, and sat on the closed toilet lid and just looked at me and told me to go ahead. I tried but was so mentally affected and afraid that i couls not finish and even went limp. My aunt seemed pleased and told me she felt i had learned my lesson for now and that if i continued to behave like i should and to not defile or degrade her or myself that she had decided to give me what she called a special treat.
To be continued.
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