Why should I bother trying to be a good person when I have nothing to look forward to, today, tommorow, the day after that, my entire fucking life, it's

5 years

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Why should I bother trying to be a good person when I have nothing to look forward to, today, tommorow, the day after that, my entire f****** life, it’s all gonna be downhil and mediocre. Why should I keep being a saint when it’s never helped me out. The only thing I really want in life is a vibrant s***** and romantic life, and I have zero of that in my f****** life. I’ve spent my whole life helping other people and the one time I need help and am about to go completely batshit insane, no one gives a s***. They don’t even know anything is wrong. Theyre f****** stupid, all of them. If they cant see it coming, they don’t deserve an explanation or a chance to stop me from self-destructing. I’m gonna keep crossing lines until the only way to go is straight to hell. I’m so f****** bored all the f****** time. I have no f****** human contact. And I am so f****** h**** all day every day. Why should I keep putting up with that? Anyone who wants me to continue that sort of existence is selfish. I dont care if they need me. I don’t care how evil I am anymore. I need p****. It’s a binary problem. If I get p****, everythings fine, if I dont, I’m gonna f****** explode like a timebomb after 16 years of involuntary celibacy. Thanks Online Gaming! Thanks all you girls who wouldn’t give me physical intimacy but used me for emotional support and a dumping ground for their grievances with their boyfriends. You ruined me as a person. I hate everything and everyone, but I hate no one more than myself. One last hurrah and then I kill myself, whether I get laid or not. Thats how this ends. But as long as I get my s***** bucket list crossed off, I wont take anyone with me. That seems reasonable enough to me. I demand a last meal of p**** and if I dont get it I’m going out with a bang instead of quietly.

New Confession

I repent for blasphemy against holy spirit disbelieving somethings in bible sry but im still struggling with some things but i beilueve he exists anx mlst the bible. I still think some things are not great advice or many parts are contradictory. I believe jesus exists does for ours sins & the Trinidadian thing etc etc it’s just a couple small things in bible that I get stuck on I also disbelieve he can hear me pray. It’s not bc I don’t believe he hears anyone’s prayers or bc satan is whispering lies telling me Jesus can’t hear me etc it’s just feels like I’ve been praying on my knees for long time and many things never got better in 2 years I actually feel worse in life and faith then i did 2 years ago. But I do read the bible more/bible studies. Can’t get myself to pray very much these days. I used to pray 2 to 3 times a day now I just feel like.. just nothingness when I pray been like that for like a year

Related Confessions

After my dad passed away I was taking my mom back east and he pulled into a rest area because there was no hotels available and I pulled in the very back and we both got in the back fell asleep. When I woke up i was soaking wet from the sweat because the humidity was so high and I got out of the van and I took off all my clothes it’s going to get some new clothes on then my mom woke up and she was the same way she’s just soaking wet so I just got back in the van naked and laid down and Mom got in front of me and we just laid there and I got an erection she felt it and she asked me if I had a hard-on and I said yes she reached back and started playing with my c*** and she said that we shouldn’t be doing this and we’re both adults mom we can do whatever you want so she started playing with my c*** some more and she put it right to her entrance to her c*** and I pushed it in I went all the way inside my mom and I started h****** her you really liked it so then she rolled over and I got on top of her back inside of her and we started f****** and I was pumping her really hard and she got off so did I I came inside of my mom’s p****. We laid there for long period of time and then I did it again I penetrated her and we fucked for about a good hour after that. I got up and put some clothes on and started to drive again. She told me that was the first time in years that she got off. We got to her sisters and we went out to eat and came back and I was going to leave early in the morning and before I left my mom came down to the room I was staying in she got in bed with me and fucked again