my current boyfriend and i have been seeing each other on/off for about two years. we met when i was 14 and he was 18, it was basically love at first sight. we’ll call him J. he was a just getting out of a scene phase and was a huge stoner/partier. i instantly felt a connection with him. i would go and see him at the library he worked at and we would text/call every day. J would come over when my parents weren’t home and we would talk and talk about what we wanted in life, about his tattoos and piercings, about our pasts and how much we liked each other. we went through a lot of stupid fights where we would break up afterwards, but we missed each other so much we got back together a few months later. when he was away it felt like a hole in my chest..when i was 15, we started talking about our life together, and how we wanted to get married. we called each other for hours on end, talking about how he would propose to me at 18 and we could get married when i turned 19…it was the happiest moment of my life. the last time we split was because he had supposedly ‘found god’ and wanted to stop drinking, smoking, cursing, etc and i wasn’t good for him. i felt so alone.. i started cutting, smoking, taking pills. i wanted to kill myself. i know it sounds so ignorant and childish, but i felt for J what i had never felt for anyone before. we just made each other so extremely happy and we were so similar. he recently (a few months ago) contacted me, telling me how much he missed me. we are now back to being a couple, him 21 and me 16. my parents know about him now, he comes over and they like him a lot. his parents know about me, too, but they don’t approve because of the age difference. he tells me not to worry about them, and that since we’ve already waited two years for him to meet my parents, i could wait two more to meet his. a few days ago he was talking about me to one of his friends at university. he attends a christian college for part time classes when he’s not working. his friend said that he sees no problem in the age difference, the only problem he sees in our relationship is that i’m not a christian. that really changed the way he looks at me now, i think. he’s been quite distant, even though i’ve told him over and over again that i’m trying my hardest to become more religious, not just for him but for me. i pray and i read the bible and i thank god for bringing J into my life every single day. i don’t know what else to do…i love him so so much with the entirety of my heart, and if he leaves me again, it might just be enough to send me over the edge….he’s coming over in two days, does anyone have any advice for what i say to him? i’m just so scared he’s going to leave me because i don’t fit in with his religious lifestyle, even though i’m trying. please help .
-C
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You are both so young, don’t be so fast to settle down when you haven’t even experienced life yet. Look relationships come and go and it honestly sounds to me like you are both changing into different people. And that’s what people do, it’s just that you guys might not fit together long term. I know you won’t believe me, I was the same with the man I wanted to marry when I was your age. Love is blind and that means you won’t see the end until it smacks you in the face.