So I have this girl who

So I have this girl who goes to school with me. She interested me for some reason. And later I would know why she interested me. So about a year ago (11th grade of October) I made a fake kik account and got her kik and started talking to her. She fell In love with my personality and however the fake guy looked. But mostly with the personality. It continued for months. I fell in love with her.. Really hard. As we had so much in common left and right. We talked over the phone only because I made some excuse that my Iphone was jailbroke and I couldn’t video chat. She was okay with the phone calling. With that… We started watching horror movies over the phone and having a wonderful time. She soon confessed herself that she really loves me. Thus launching a distant relationship. Mind you I said that I love. In long Island ( well the fake guy is) and she lives in Queens. So she kinda accepted that we couldn’t meet yet. All this was going on and there’s me going to school with her everyday. I had classes with her. She first started knowing I had the same voice as the guy she was speaking to when we got back from Christmas break. It wasn’t a major suspicion so it was no biggie. As months progressed, we started getting closer and closer ( with the fake guy) mind you she confessed over the phone that she has depression and admitted that I take away her depression because I make her so happy. But she started getting suspicious of. Me around May. I was sitting next to her and I would say something that kind of sparked something and that’s when she kind of started thinking I was him. So she spoke to the guy on the phone (which was me) and claimed that there’s someone who goes to her school that’s just like me. So I pretended to be amused and kind of talked her out of it telling her I am who I say I am. She believed me and things moved on from there. Summer vacation hit and we were both excited because we can stay home and do everything together. From making breakfast together, to watching horror movies. She had vacation early and she went to Virginia. She drove there with her family and u was on the phone with her every step of the way. We talked on the phone and when she went in the bathroom to shower we had p********. The first time she did it when she wasn’t even home as she usually is when we do it. But anyway things seemed okay with her Sumner vacation. I was keeping her company the whole time. It’s when she came back things crashed. When she came back home we talked and I asked how was it and everything. Seemed fine. The next day we are on the phone early morning as usual. Waiting for our parents to go to work. I hang up and tell her I’m going downstairs and when my dad is downstairs getting ready for work I’ll come back upstairs and call you. So I’m in my room kiking her and she asks me if my dad left. I said no. All of a sudden she messages “you’re a F****** liar” bewildered I put ” lol no he didn’t leave yet” she tells me to call her and I do. She’s in tears and asking me who am I. I tell her who I am ( the name I gave the fake guy) but she tells me her friend fount his Instagram ( but it was because I followed the guy on Instagram) I panicked. She was crying and telling me I betrayed her… I was speechless. She was expecting an answer from me but all I could do was stay speechless. She hung up. And I went insane. For getting caught. She kept calling me and I never answered my phone. I threw it across my room. A week later… I decide to be really fucked up again. Because she was the only person who I talked to. I lived her. I knew if I came on to her as the real me when summer vacation was over she of course wouldn’t accept me. I was an average guy. So I find another fake guy to use and this time I don’t follow his Instagram. I kik her and she was bewildered at first. But since I have a unique typing style she started getting suspicions immediately. She wanted to call me from there. And I kept asking why and stuff. She asked for a live pic of me. And that was easily done because of a fake camera thing for kik. That wasn’t enough for her… She was scared. She wanted to talk to me over the phone to see if it was me from before. We talked on the phone and she was in tears. She told me how I cat fished her. And I confessed I didn’t have any balls to tell her the truth. But St the same time I was still lying.. Out of selfishness and the desire to have her. Physically and mentally. She told me that she spoke to the guy I was pretending to be and that he felt bad for her. Me ( the real me) was following her on Instagram and checked to see if she followed the guys Instagram. And she did. I was hoping that this wasn’t the case for the new guy. As the weeks passed she started to accept the fact that I lied to her. She confessed that the only reason why she stayed was because with the other guy I said that we can get through anything together. She even said that despite I lied to her… She still lives me and that she didn’t care how I looked it’s my personality she fell in love with. As she would never find someone exactly like me. To myself I’m all ” that’s B*******. If I was to tell you who I am you wouldn’t like me the same way” so we finished off Sumner vacation and thus started our senior year. It had a rough start because her suspicions of me were really high now. Especially when I told her ( using the new fake guy) that I’m coming to school with her. That scared her a bit. Plus it didn’t make it any better that I sat next to her when we were at dunkin donuts. I stopped talking to her for about 2 weeks ( the fake guy) during those two weeks she messaged me on my actual kik. There was no hiding my typing skills. She said that I type the same as someone else she knows. We started our own bond thing… Goofing around, calling each other turtles and what not. Then we started going on Instagram and tagging each other in different text posts and pictures. I wasn’t even sure if she liked me for who I am or just pulling strings. Then she decides she wants to call me over the phone. I panicked. But then did it. And she said ” I’m losing my mind” I sounded exactly like the fake guy I was pretending to be. But I denied it and played dumb. With that I later started ignoring her because she kind of friend zoned me after saying we had a lot in common than I think and I’m her demon but she’s waiting for her demon ( the fake guy) so I was like “wow” to myself. So I came back on the fake guy account abs lied to her that I got my phone taken away. She catches me up and told me she as waiting for me to come back. So it’s the month of September and I’m in school with her giving her hugs everyday and calling her what I ( the fake guy) gave her. From the very beginning from the first fake guy I used I named her Violet. And that was her name on kik. And even Instagram. She wanted me ( the real me) to call her that. As she didn’t like a real name. Basically I kept and eye on her in school making sure she was doing good… And at the same time I was with the fake guy talking to her over the phone. We watched movies everyday after school, made pancakes talk at night. I was just happy to have some one like me. ( not really have) so it’s October and what recently happened is that the fake guy (me) keeps having doubts about her. Cause she has this other guy in school that comes on to her and they have a thing. Seeing this makes me angry because she doesn’t even have anything in common with the guy. He’s good looking and all but they are complete opposites. But she doesn’t care. The fake guy is all suspicious and she tells me that she loves me and that there’s no one else. But I don’t believe her cause I go to school and witnesses what she does. That day I kept pushing it. We had gym class last period and she was in the gym and we have separate gym teachers. We go upstairs with mine and she stays downstairs I’m the actual gym. She mesaages” who’s rose” the I reply “rose is a flower” then she replies “and she’s a person who apparently has a pic of you” I sighed and panicked. “not again” I typed to myself. Then she went off. She goes ” don’t tell me your tricking me again” I deny it by saying “I’m not tricking you” she goes “no f*** you” so then I want to go home and wait for her to reply again. But she sent a message before I left for school to go home. I told her I didn’t get her message. But she didn’t believe me. She told me I need to know what I want and what not. So I said ok I’ll get off kik for a while. She says font do anything stupid because she still loves me. So I get off the fake account. And play it myself for a while. But it hurts. Seeing her with the other guy from school… Him kissing her and stuff every after school and in school. But they don’t go out yet. I have class with the dude and he tells his friends about her. They know he really likes her. And I’m here like what about me? She knows we have so much in common and we are each other’s match. Then I remember it’s all about the looks first not personality. And it’s what society accepts. Society wouldn’t accept a guy like me going out with a beautiful girl like her. The other dude had a chance. Plus he was apart of society. One thing Violet didn’t like. So I thought. Cause she still has a thing with him. So I go on Instagram and look up the second fake guys Instagram. I don’t follow him though. So I look at his followers to see if Violet followed him. And what do you know. She does. I knew it was game over. And I found this out just this. Morning. Everything is over. She’s going. To be t with the other guy… Leaving me all alone. I thin k she knows it’s me who was pulling the strings but she doesn’t want to accept it fully. So here I am… No one to talk to. Can’t go back on the fake account cause she now. Knows it’s fake. Cause she follows the real guy. Idk what to do. I’m feeling lonely, guilty, and so depressed. :/ :c

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