Over thirty years ago I got pregnant. The only man I’d ever been with before that point was my high school sweetheart. I went to college and he didn’t, and while I was there I realized that he wasn’t right for me, but I still loved him and put off telling him. One summer I had a fling with someone else and got pregnant. I had no idea who the father was, but I really honestly thought it had to be my high school sweetheart. I tried to do the right thing and got married. When I had my son I still wasn’t sure who the father was but I tried as hard as I could to make it work. My high school sweetheart didn’t adapt well to fatherhood. The pressure of being a dad (he was 22 and I was 21) was just too much for him he turned to drink and drugs and became abusive. I knew for my safety I had to get divorced. He since remarried and was abusive to his next wife as well.
So all of these years have gone by and I’ve been a good mom, raising my son and he has turned out to be a wonderful man. Maybe I’ve been in denial but I had convinced myself that he was the son of my ex husband all these years, until recently when on Facebook I saw a picture of the man I had the filing with, and there is no doubt whatsoever that he is the father of my son. They look so much alike it’s totally unbelievable.
I haven’t ever told anyone this story, and I have no idea what to do. Some part of me is bursting to tell someone, but I don’t trust anyone enough to do it. Another part of me is afraid that my son suspects that he’s not really my ex husbands son because they look nothing alike.
Just don’t know what to do.
All Comments
I think you should get a paternity test. You are out of the abusive relationship. If the other man is the father, he has the right to know. Men are just as responsible for bringing the child into existence. It is the respectful thing to do.