My Job is making me a horrible person..I have been subbing for 4 years and it’s really making me depressed and stressed. I feel like I am constantly overlooked and looked down upon and I don’t know why.. The schools always call the new subs first which make me so angry and there is nothing I can do. The saddest part is that I love teaching and working with the kids but I cant afford to keep getting 2-3 days a week. I have been applying for other jobs but it kills me to have wasted $40 000 in student loans for a diploma that has gotten me nowhere, and to have spent years working my a** off to help the other teachers around me but to get nothing in return. I am constantly stressed, I have had many sleepless nights where I have lain awake and cried trying to budget my debts. I constantly snap at my bf, and I think he is getting sick of it. It’s not his fault but I am on my last straw constantly. I get mad at him for eating too much because I am afraid I will have to move back in with my parents because I can’t afford to feed us. I really want to settle down and start a family and fear I will never be able to and think of just giving up life on a daily basis because I feel like a waste of space and like I am just bringing the ones I love down with me.
