I’m thinking of breaking my 3 month sobriety to just let loose and attempt to have some fun. Just weighing out the pros and the cons. Pros: This could be whats becoming one of the rare occasions where I leave a good impression on people of being fun and amusing, keep them engaged in conversation with me and make dozens of new friends like I did a long time ago. This might be one of the times I don’t over do it and remember everything and not drink well past my limit. I no longer have a whiny boyfriend nagging at me not to do it and then bothering my friends and getting them all worried. Cons: This might be one of the occasions where I get drunk too quickly, and drink way too much and become incoherent and make my friends worry. I might black out and pee on myself and eventually pass out not knowing what happened. Not only that but once I start I can’t stop drinking for at least a good 4 days -2 weeks straight. Reason I’m even considering this: I’m bored, just got out of a break up and don’t want to think about him. I just want to loosen up a bit, listen to some good music and stop being so anxious around people. Tired of holding back, always feeling like I’m never my true self and have to calculate everything I say. Things are never fun anymore, at least when I’m buzzed in my mind things feel pretty fun and enjoyable even if its for a little while. I just don’t know if I should go through with this.
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Stop the bullshit. Stay sober and do the right thing.
Of course you shouldn’t go through with it. But . . . here’s a tip. Frank Sinatra used to stay sober when he was drinking, but he would still carry around a glass with him. Since everyone thought he was drunk anyway, he could act as if he was, and let down his inhibitions. Might be worth a try. Also, it could just be that you need to relearn how to interact with others. Check out some courses online, even the free ones are good these days. I used to be painfully shy until I started working on developing my charisma and learning how to speak to people, and most importantly, learning to not give a fuck. Entertain yourself, and don’t worry about what others think; cause the truth is, you’re way more concerned with how you present yourself to them than they are.