I’m never afraid of dangerous situations. the only reason is because I hope something will happen and I’ll die. or I’ll get some horrible illness. I’ve had infections before and not gone to the doctor hoping they’d get worse and take me out. I could never do it myself. not because I don’t think i could physically. but because i have kids, and I wouldn’t want them growing up knowing their mom offed herself. I’m not doing anything in life right and I’m scared of how it’s going to effect them.
