I have this diary, because I

I have this diary, because I need to let some things out. And I never have time to write. But here goes nothing.

I don’t even know where to begin, well I don’t even know why I’m like this exactly. But my mind is a mess, I am so confused. Confused about what? I don’t even know that. All I know is that I keep thinking about HIM.who is HIM? Well I’ll explain my story.

I have had a few REALLY BIG crushes since I’ve hit puberty, but there was one that really stood out. He was from my favorite band BIG BANG (I am absolutely in love with everything Korean) And I thought about him a lot, even shed some tears thinking about him. But then I watched this drama (prosecutor princess) And I had another crush like the one i had on TOP-ssi. His name was Park Shi Hoo. I has rough nights thinking about the two. I couldn’t even watch PSH kiss the lead girl in his drama. But I think I was fooling myself. I had to make a decision. Top or Park Shi Hoo. I chose PSH for his looks, well TOP too, but I also loved TOP’s personality. So after some long nights I chose TOP. This is the part where I introduce HIM.

So I started this drama Playful Kiss, and the main actor….is HIM. Let me explain. His name is Kim Hyun Joong. I have been a fan of him for a long time; but I never really thought much of him. When I started watching this drama, everytime something good happened between them, I was so happy I grinned as much as my cheeks would let me. But then at night as I was going to sleep, I would think of that scene, and I would start crying, sobbing into my pillow. It was the worst feeling I have ever experience. Having so many feeling at one and being so confused and not able to sort of my thoughts was horrible, I couldn’t bare it. I didn’t know what to think

Every night I cry about him, and he is all I ever think about, I have to hold back cries all day long. But why? Did I just love the drama so much…..or am I really in love?

I can’t even explain my feelings, but they’re with me all day long. And maybe now that I’ve gotten this out, then it will help some?

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