I cannot admit to another relationship fail. My family wants for me to have a happy relationship with someone. I want that for myself also. I was dating this guy who treated me so great and was very caring with me. It felt really good to have someone there like that, but I could not get over the fact that he is 15 years older than me. So, I broke that off. Then a guy friend I met at work a few years back, we started dating after running into each other. Things were fun and I really started to like this guy. Things didn’t continue on a great path though, he started showing signs of being a lame a**, to which I tried to ignore. I explained away his issues to my family and they see him as an awesome guy. I finally confronted him about my concerns and now do not hear from him. They still think we see each other and encourage the relationship. I am stupid for lying to them about it, but I didn’t want them to disapprove of him, so I faked it. When really it is in my best interest to not involve myself in relationship with him or guys like him. I tend to want to fall into the slump of, Why does no one love me in relationships? But then I think back to that older guy. He had the words I love you waiting to come out, you could see it in his face and eyes. Yet another reason I left him, because I did not feel the same way. I am feeling down and really empty, I do know that I am going to find someone amazing eventually, but right now, it feels hopeless and why would someone love me besides older men. Is there a guy closer to my age that can treat me respectfully? It hurts, and is all to easy to see the crappy parts about myself after rejection.
29 yo f.
Lessons learned:
Don’t sugar coat s***, it’s still s***
Self acceptance, I am a great girl, I just haven’t met my friend/companion yet
I need to shut that negative small voice that is being mean to me.
