I am so scared that once high school & the parties end, the weed runs out, my friends leave, my brother moves out, and I have to be cast back out into the real world, there will be nothing left of me. I’ll be no one. I am horrified. I am realizing I am no longer that straight A little angel everyone “knew” was going to change the world. I am just a scared, lost teenager, depressed and looking for ways to escape my past and future. I want to overcome my problems, be that person I always wanted to be, but it is too hard. I am haunted by the terrors of my past, and petrified as to what my future may hold. I am trying to numb the pain with and fill the gaps of love I never had with boyfriends, friends who have their own problems, pot and vodka. Not even old enough to drive but I’ve been an adult since I was 6. I’m still witty, doing my best in school, and manage to hold myself together in public. But when the sun goes down I have to let it all out. I am so scared of what I am becoming.
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You are a teenager. You have the life in front of you. You have to make a plan of what you want to be in the future, not a career but a lifestyle, and work hard to get there. Be realistic, it wont be easy, btu it will pays for the rest of your life. You can party hard, but do not ALWAYS party and don’t destroy yourself. Dont make it compromise your objectives.
Hint : i you surround yourself with complete trainwrecks you will become like them.