AM I A VICTIM OF D******** OR AM I A TERRIBLE PERSON? WHAT SHOULD I DO PLEASE HELP ME
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost four years. I’ve cheated on him before, once because of alcohol which i addmitedly have a problem with, and second time because i was too nice to tell someone no right away. Just kissing though, and i told my boyfriend about it and expressed my deep regret and said NOTHING of the sort would EVER happen again.. A few months later i was invited to stay over at this girl who was my friend at the times house , who i knew had a crush on me. She offered me alcohol, against my better judement i accepted. Then, after a few drinks she offered me a bottle and said to drink it all but refused to have any. I did find this suspicious but because i am an alcoholic i drank it all gladly. Then, the next thing i know, we are calling over a guy who she had been having s** with who we both knew from school. They have both been asking me for a threeway since i met them… So if i had not been intoxicated i would never have been in such a situation. Now, i am straight so if he hadn’t been there perhaps nothing would have happened but i was deeply under the influence… I don’t remember making the decision to cheat, and going there i knew i NEVER wanted to do that again… I even recall being naked and physically fighting my female friend off of me and dont remember why..But the next thing i know i am naked chained to a bed. Now i am sure that i did an said things that provoked this… But i was completely unhappy with the situation imediately and couldn’t vocalize this feeling of disgust, or that i wanted it to stop and for them to stop touching me… When i awoke i immediately ran from the house ready to kill myself, completely hysterical. That day the so called friend of mine is no longer my friend. I told my boyfriend that i got drunk and had suspicions of being drugged and that i fought her off when she asked to have s** and went to bed but woke up next to them both with no clothes on… He belived me, but everytime i close my eyes i have flashbacks of what happened. I want to marry this boy, but is it possible i will never forget unless i tell him that i was partially to blame? Am i partially to blame? Am i entirely to blame? If i am not entirely to blame then should i tell him the truth after havin partially lied already? Please help me:( i cannot be alone or close my eyes to sleep without having flashbacks and uncontrollably crying .
All Comments
2 words…. professional help!
Drunken “yes” is not consent. Tell him what happened. You were raped.
You are NOT to blame at all! No one should take advantage of you like that, whether you were drunk or not. I don’t know what country you live in, but in America and most Western nations, having sex with someone who is too drunk or drugged to consent legally constitutes rape. I’d seek the help of authorities to put these two predators behind bars. You do NOT deserve what happened to you. The fact especially that you were chained up just screams rape to me. Please let someone who can help you know what happened!
Well, the three of us had openly talked about enjoyin kinky sex before. And i am 100% sure that i was being flirtatious along with other provoking, and i chose to make that phone call… So that’s why i feel like i am to blame .
yeah, but you were drunk. she gave you what im sure she knew you shouldnt have had. after that you didnt have much control. he will be hurt, he may even feel like he has to leave you. but if he is any sort of man it will be because you chose to drink, not because of what ultimately was forced upon you.
After telling him that i woke up and didn’t know what happened BUT suspected that something did. Although i lied about that, i did let him see how i really felt about it all. He was mostly upset i waited a day to tell him. But i have sworn to make changes in my life to avoid being in such a situation again, including NEVER drinking again… And we are together still, and he is happy. I don’t want to soil it. I did want to tell him the entire truth but i’m not sure how to say it now without seeming entirely to blame.
Well ease into it… tell him you remember some details. Ultimately it wasnt your fault because you were intoxicated. Im glad for you though. Keep on keeping on<3
Thank you so much, an everyone else too. If i hadn’tve posted this i wouldn’t be able to sleep… I’m glad to hear you all think that, it’s truly been very helpful. <3