I let a girl flirt and make out with me because I liked having someone attractive after me. I did stop. I thought at the time, I can use this to better my

12 years

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I let a girl flirt and make out with me because I liked having someone attractive after me.
I did stop.
I thought at the time, I can use this to better my relationship with my girlfriend, get better at things….and as it went on for about 20 minutes……I thought more and more, this must, must, HAS to stop.
I did leave.
I am in love with my girlfriend, she would never find out if I didn’t tell her.
I hate myself.
I can promise myself to never let a situation like that happen again. To never let myself allow insecurity and alcohol to control me.
Is that enough?
If I tell her………will I lose her?

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