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I fell in love with a woman from Spain when we were teenagers. She was so beautiful and I was so ugly. No one at my school liked me. She was almost modelesque. She wrote me letters of passion and sincereity (this was in the 90s). I could pour my heart out to her and if I did not meet her in person like I did in the early 90s, I probably wouldn’t be alive today.

Through a mess up of translation to Catalan from Spanish, I offended the only girl who cared for me about 2000-2001. We stopped communicating. I moved on, heartbroken, and married someone I ‘settled’ for thinking it was the best. We got divorced in 2008. In 2009/2010 by chance she found me on Facebook but let me know she was married now. Her husband later DM me on Facebook with the simple message “Leave her alone.” And I disappeared again from her life without telling her.

I ran into my exwife at the grocery store about 6 months later and she informed me “This woman from Spain came to MY house (use to be ours) looking for you. I told her you killed yourself. She seemed concerned and upset, like I cared.”

I still love that woman, my first love. I’m remarried and happy because this woman treats me like a person, not a slave. But she can’t hold a candle to my Spanish desire. I want to reestablish communication but if she is happily married I can’t ruin that. But I will always love her. I think of her daily. It just wish she went to my parents house instead of my ex-wife’s house. Truth: if she came back into my life, I’d leave my wife.

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One time my art therapist was holding her pee during dnd, this was shortly after she learned that I was into pee desperation, so january 2026. I was playing rain music. She was squirming like mad less than an hour in. At one point she shifted in her seat and opened her mouth and eyes wide in surprise, a real uh oh face. Break time came and she chose not to pee. So at about 70 or 80 minutes in, she gets up to go pee. Mind you she normally held it for 130 minutes. Well the dm tells her to update her character sheet before she goes and she says “OK, but I have to pee like no other.” I said “Damn…” and then “Why are you still here then.” And she just kinda went blank and said “What?” And I was like “Nevermind.” She came back from the bathroom reeking like piss and clearly going commando cause she had a sudden cameltoe that wasnt there before. Someone mentioned that it smelled like a litter box and i said “You smell piss? Oh yeah, I smell it too!” Pretty sure she had to throw out her p****** cause they were soaked in piss. She did that because she has a condition that makes it hard for her to have s** and i told her if she couldn’t f*** she’d have to indulge my o******* kink for pee desperation and wetting. She proceeded to hold it during dnd every week after that for 10 months, minus like 6 weeks. I remember many times she was clearly desperate to pee. A couple of times she jumped in her seat and sharply inhaled. Many times she would cross and uncross her legs and kick her feet repeatedly before tightly crossing her legs at the knee. One time after squirming she had a wet spot on her b*** and she leaned over the counter to let me see. Before any of this, we were playing dnd in like 2024 or 2025 and she was like “Hold on, I need to pee.” And I said ” Not allowed” and she jokingly said “Wanna come?” to me, in front of another client.