I fell in love with a woman from Spain when we were teenagers. She was so beautiful and I was so ugly. No one at my school liked me. She was almost modelesque. She wrote me letters of passion and sincereity (this was in the 90s). I could pour my heart out to her and if I did not meet her in person like I did in the early 90s, I probably wouldn’t be alive today.

Through a mess up of translation to Catalan from Spanish, I offended the only girl who cared for me about 2000-2001. We stopped communicating. I moved on, heartbroken, and married someone I ‘settled’ for thinking it was the best. We got divorced in 2008. In 2009/2010 by chance she found me on Facebook but let me know she was married now. Her husband later DM me on Facebook with the simple message “Leave her alone.” And I disappeared again from her life without telling her.

I ran into my exwife at the grocery store about 6 months later and she informed me “This woman from Spain came to MY house (use to be ours) looking for you. I told her you killed yourself. She seemed concerned and upset, like I cared.”

I still love that woman, my first love. I’m remarried and happy because this woman treats me like a person, not a slave. But she can’t hold a candle to my Spanish desire. I want to reestablish communication but if she is happily married I can’t ruin that. But I will always love her. I think of her daily. It just wish she went to my parents house instead of my ex-wife’s house. Truth: if she came back into my life, I’d leave my wife.