I regret my first boyfriend. I regret my first time. I wish I had known that it was okay to say “no, I don’t like you that way.” I wish I hadn’t desperately needed affirmation and love, and that I had known how to stand up for myself. And I wish that he knew now that I never wanted any of that.

I don’t think he was a jerk… but how could he not know I was lying the whole time? Can a 13 year old really lie so well? Can a 16 year old?

For some reason, I still can’t forgive him, my mother, or myself.