I’m over 20. In love with a girl who I hope to marry.

I have a few issues with my s********, my father was abusive both physically and emotionally when I was growing up. I think that brought about some emotional attraction towards men which then when I started watching p*** turned into a gay fetish.

I watch gay p*** occasionally as well as straight p***. I have no physical attraction towards men in real life but have had two same s** experiences when I was young. I think it is because us guys don’t need a lot of effort and it was easy.

I have always loved women never men and the thought of a relationship with a man is not appealing to me. But I am terrified about s** with her in case I don’t perform or I’m not attracted enough.

I love her and want to be with her, I am working on stopping my p*** addiction and hopefully this will make me better.

I can’t tell her all this as it will devistate her but I needed to get it off my chest.