I work as a mental health counselor and 8 hours a day I listens to my patients talk about depression, anxiety, trauma, etc. I teach them coping skills, educate them on the benefits of medication compliance, offer them hope….I am optimistic yet grounding with them. I encourage them to try new things, to not seclude themselves, to become involved in the community and in social engagements. But, when I come I cry. I don’t leave my home on days off. I dwell in the past, I mourn lost family, friends, loves. I am the polar opposite of what my work persona is. I think, what would change if I were to die? Nothing on a macro scale of course, but would anything on a micro scale even change? My answer is no, I tinge it with a sliver of hope that someone, anyone that I have in my heart would shed a tear for my passing, but the sliver is dwindling as the years tick by.