last night i was having this huge fight with this fake friend b****. she had been bullying me since i was a little girl right up until now at 20 years old. recently i told her something very important to me and she went and told everyone. when i confronted her about it she just smiled in my face and said “so what”. so last night she just turned up at my house and barged in. she was obviously looking for a fight. she started screaming at me calling me a b**** and tried getting physical but i moved out of the way. then she slapped me. i was so furious about what this b**** had done to my life, i picked up a lamp and threw it at her. the glass broke over her head and she dropped to the ground. after doing that i was relieved, i actually really enjoyed it as messed up as it sounds. i didnt even know what i had done, never in my life have i been violent or been in trouble, i can control my anger and have never lashed out or even raised my voice. she was lying on the ground but moving and moaning, i still felt like i needed to do more. all the years of people walking over me and now this b**** thinking she can do what she wants just got to me. i got the broken lamp and kept beating her with it, i started kicking her, attacking her and screaming at her. then my old neighbour came because of the screaming and they asked if everything was alright, but she could hear someone screaming in the back of the house. i quickly slammed the door in her face and looked through the peephole and saw that she was leaving. i went back to the living room and the girl manged to get up and sit down on a chair. all the feeling rushed from by body. i realised what i had done and i was panicking. i started crying and i looked at her and what i had done to her. she was just sitting there holding her head. then suddenly she made a run for it. i tried running after her to stop her in case she called the police. but today no police came to my door. i dont know what to do incase they do come and i go to prison for assault. i cant lie and tell them it was self defence, becuase it wasnt, what i did was cruel and twisted. im in such a mess. i went to her house but she would answer. i feel like i just destroyed my life and im going to be in trouble with the law. i feel so guilty and disgusted with myself. i need help