In college; I hated myself, she hated herself, and we didn't like each other all that much. so we would fuck every so often until we reached apoint where

12 years

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In college; I hated myself, she hated herself, and we didn’t like each other all that much. so we would f*** every so often until we reached apoint where we decided to f*** regularly and call each other girlfriend and boyfriend. this offered temporary relief from the self-loathing, but ultimately fed it once the f****** was done. it was a fairly low point in both our lives, so that i don’t really feel guilty over that. you do what you have to do to wake up every morning and live your miserable life.

About two months into this “relationship” that we both kind of knew wasn’t working, but we weren’t willing to give it up. I start hanging out with another girl between classes in a completely non-romantic way and the conversations I would have with her were the first thing in years to make me feel good. after a few months, I started to feel guilty because it felt like cheating on the Original girl. so I told the Second Girl, out of a weird and unhelpful sense of honor, I couldn’t continue seeing her. eventually, Me and Original Girl Break Up, Second Girl was gone.

was it true love? I don’t know. but I regret choosing relationship that started out Broken over one that could have been started in a good way.

New Confession

I’m male, work a high power job, good salary. After work I dress as a female to relax.
Recently I discovered, having my testicle out side my pan+ties, under my dress, keeps me cooler. Just wanted to put this out there.

Related Confessions

When I was in college my roommate was raped and murdered in a stairwell. I left that school and later completed my degree on line. I lived with my mother.

I had a long time jib working for a cupcake store. One random day a man stopped for a birthday cupcake for his secretary. I asked him if men still had secretaries. He asked if I had an education. Since I had a degree I could be his secretary, the birthday girl was moving.

The company offices had fifty people, mostly male, engineers. The other females were all young, dressed well, fawned over the men. Hired for their looks. I was hired for my looks, 22 blonde.

The man, he wanted a secretary who was affectionate to him. Kiss on the cheek every morning. Wore dresses, a little cleavage. A slap across the a** type of man. He kissed me in his office, felt me up and told me he was coming to my house. I told him I lived with my mother.

He showed up and my mother told me to serve him. He told her he was there for me. He saw me at the cupcake store and decided to marry me.

My mother asked Jim questions, like interviewing him for me. He passed, professional, manager, good job, but how did she know if he could father children. I got married anyways , fingers crossed.

Five years without children. Five years of keeping myself away from him. Five years of this and that girl. He turned 33, I either got pregnant or he would leave me.

Coercion. Blackmail. Forced to comply. It was as awful as I imagined. You only give up your virgin status once. It was awful. What can I say. He repeated it to make sure I got pregnant.

You see, my college roommate was my lover. When I lost her everything ended for me. I married him to please my mother. It’s awful, what can I say. I’m cheating on her memory. This child in me, if I have a girl I will name her after Cristina.