I believe in the double standard that men who sleep around are studs and women who do it are studs. For one I believe there is a huge difference between a

12 years

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I believe in the double standard that men who sleep around are studs and women who do it are studs.

For one I believe there is a huge difference between a promiscuous man and a promiscuous woman. I know people would call this s*** shaming but even if I openly say otherwise or say I believe otherwise I really deep down instinctively almost dont. Like deep down I have this inner voice that says “sluuuuuut.” I wish I didn’t but I feel it even if logically I try and tell myself its wrong. From a physical standpoint a guy is inserting while a girl is taking. He cums in her and empties his fluids into her. She on the other hand takes it like she’s a receptacle. So in a way its like that key and lock theory makes a lot of sense. He got laid and she got fucked.

I wish I didn’t feel this way but again even if I say otherwise and pretend to believe otherwise deep down I have an inner voice chanting “what a sluut sluut sluut” and yet I dont feel that way about promiscuous guys. I dont get that inner voice. Now one might think “is it jealously?” Thats usually the first conclusion people will jump to. Except I dont want to have s**. I dont want to be put in that position. I dont want a guy to talk about me while high fiving his friends and be another notch in his bed post. I dont want people to find out I had s**. I dont want any of the stuff women have to deal with thats attached to it.

Perhaps I have a problem with my own s********. Perhaps I’m sexist against myself. Maybe I’m a product of the society we live in and I’m brainwashed. I dont know. I just know I wish I didn’t secretly feel this way deep down but I do.

I wish I was a lesbian or a gay man (top-I would never bottom). Yeah..I have issues.

New Confession

Been d rinking after work to day, and wanderring a round my yard naked. Feel so good hot todays p ing out side to.

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .