I believe in the double standard that men who sleep around are studs and women who do it are studs.

For one I believe there is a huge difference between a promiscuous man and a promiscuous woman. I know people would call this s*** shaming but even if I openly say otherwise or say I believe otherwise I really deep down instinctively almost dont. Like deep down I have this inner voice that says “sluuuuuut.” I wish I didn’t but I feel it even if logically I try and tell myself its wrong. From a physical standpoint a guy is inserting while a girl is taking. He cums in her and empties his fluids into her. She on the other hand takes it like she’s a receptacle. So in a way its like that key and lock theory makes a lot of sense. He got laid and she got fucked.

I wish I didn’t feel this way but again even if I say otherwise and pretend to believe otherwise deep down I have an inner voice chanting “what a sluut sluut sluut” and yet I dont feel that way about promiscuous guys. I dont get that inner voice. Now one might think “is it jealously?” Thats usually the first conclusion people will jump to. Except I dont want to have s**. I dont want to be put in that position. I dont want a guy to talk about me while high fiving his friends and be another notch in his bed post. I dont want people to find out I had s**. I dont want any of the stuff women have to deal with thats attached to it.

Perhaps I have a problem with my own s********. Perhaps I’m sexist against myself. Maybe I’m a product of the society we live in and I’m brainwashed. I dont know. I just know I wish I didn’t secretly feel this way deep down but I do.

I wish I was a lesbian or a gay man (top-I would never bottom). Yeah..I have issues.