I was taking money out of my parent's emergency fund. For a while. I was greedy. Materialistic. Reckless. Impulsive. It was a really bad habit. At the end

12 years

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I was taking money out of my parent’s emergency fund. For a while. I was greedy. Materialistic. Reckless. Impulsive. It was a really bad habit. At the end of the day, it is just money. I take full responsibility and I plan on giving my parents every pay check I earn for however long it takes to earn their trust back. But the thing that breaks me down the most is… all my parents ever wanted to do their entire life since I was born was to build me up. And though I know I’ve done things to make them proud, stupid recklessness like this makes me feel as though I’ve done nothing but break them down. I know feeling guilty and repentant isn’t enough. That’s why I’m choosing to take action. I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to fully feel cleansed and whole again. But I know I’m trying. And for right now, that has to be enough for me to keep going. I just can’t keep living the way I’ve been living.

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Been d rinking after work to day, and wanderring a round my yard naked. Feel so good hot todays p ing out side to.

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .