This happened on 9th of Wednesday 2014. I got married 2 years back. We are Blessed by God with a Lovely Sweet Princess. I use to have lots of Girl

12 years

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This happened on 9th of Wednesday 2014. I got married 2 years back. We are Blessed by God with a Lovely Sweet Princess. I use to have lots of Girl Friends. But with very few I had a relationship before marriage. All girl friends were very Happy the day I got married. Some of them even attended my wedding. After marriage I stopped doing physical intercousre. And I promised myself that Love making would be done only with my wife. But after few months of marriage, my life became a curse. Due to a vulguar SMS send to my Girl Friend, I had a big quarell with my Wife. I never had a relationship with that girl before or untill date. She likes and love me more that a friend. But that doesn’t means that I am having an affair. The Girl was working in my Office. I had to tell her to resign, due to my stupid SMS. She never replied SMS as I use to send. Due to my mistake she had to resign. I told so many times to my wife, that I never had any affair with her. But she didn’t listen. Since that day, I lost my feelings for my Wife and I have stopped making love with my wife since 4 months. I am pretending to be happy. We are not sleeping together. I know she is not Happy. I Love her a lot. I want her to trust me. But this not happening. She is not understanding me.

On 9th Wednesday, I was late to come home. I was drunked but was in senses. It was 1 am. I also wanted to travel to my Native, so I packed my bags. Wife was sleeping. My Baby care taker around age 20, was awake and feeding Milk to my baby through bottle. She is very kind and friendly with me. After she finished feeding baby, she came to other Bedroom to take Blankets. I touched her and played with her. But I didn’t do i**********. The door was locked and Wife started knoking the door when she found Care taker missing. I taught she will stop knoking and go to sleep. She called my family members who were staying in the same building. We both were scared. I opened the door, they started hitting the girl. I felt very bad and we lied to them that we were talking. The only fact is I didn’t do any i********** with her as I have promised my self. But the next day, the girl was sent to her home.

I am feeling guilty.
First of all.
1) The poor Girl was taking more care then my Wife. She was in need of Good job and did not wanted to loose this job.
2) I shouldn’t have become so friendly with that girl because she was taking care of my Daughter.
3) My Wife was there at home. I should not have locked the door and shouldn’t have played with the girl.
4) I don’t want to loose my wife nor that girl who was taking care of my baby and was in need of the job.

I will stop talking to that Girl, but my wife and my daughter needs that girl badly. Due to my mistake, all four are suffering.

Please forgive me God.

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .