I keep telling my mom that I am trying my best in university but I can't seem to focus on anything long enough to learn it. I have an exam tomorrow but I

12 years

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I keep telling my mom that I am trying my best in university but I can’t seem to focus on anything long enough to learn it. I have an exam tomorrow but I feel so hopeless I can’t bring myself to actually prepare. I am suffering from depression (i have been since first year) and this has really screwed me up. I feel like I’m letting everyone down and I’m being asked to withdraw from my program because I’ve failed most of my courses. Now my mom said she doesn’t know why I’m doing so poorly because I was the one who never got stressed in highschool and just managed to get everything done. But the thing I never told her was that I was always stressed in high school, but she had so many things to deal with that I would just find a way of dealing on my own. I can’t do that anymore, university has too many challenges. I’m really far away from my family, I barely have any friends and I found out that if I fail out I will stop getting child support and my family will have to file for bankruptcy and my mother is having a hard time getting a job because we live in a secretly racist area. Its a small town where the people are judgmental and petty, they just look at my mom’s skin colour and assume she can’t speak english even though she has better spelling and grammer than the majority of the people there (its a small rural hillbilly-ish town). I don’t know what to do, I just want it all to end. I just want to give up and sleep. Not just sleep through the night, but sleep through the exams, sleep through the month and just keep sleeping. Either that or find a way to start over but that seems impossible

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