I dont know how to tell you I dont love you anymore. You waited until I was going through one of the most difficult, emotionally unbalanced periods of my life to become the a******, and you just kept going. I was pregnant, and exhausted, and Im sorry I got fired for being honest about it. Im sorry I couldnt clean till everything was spotless, have dinner on the table by the time you got home. You watched me suffer throughout the pregnancy, and Im sorry the idea of s** with me at 8 months was repulsive to you, and killed my self esteem. Ive made my fair share of mistakes. In blind grief I had a weekend affair, because I needed to feel something. I wanted to feel alive, and lustful, and good about myself. Of course I found out the hard way that it just doesnt happen that way, and I probably wont ever try again. Im almost sorry for convincing you it was in your head. Before that weekend, even when we were fighting our worst fights, Id never thought about having an affair. The paranoia you had even before that weekend still gets in the way of any kind of healing even now, though honestly Ive given up hope on anything more than a jagged aching scar. If Id thought youd had any real evidence of the event, I would have come clean. I may have become the monster you always feared I would, but I needed it, and this is my secret, my weekend where I no longer felt trapped, and unattractive. Honestly that weekend is the reason Im still able to stay. I attached myself to you so firmly in the beginning, you were the sun in my universe, my reason to smile. I used to glow when I talked of you, I had butterflies when you were around, my heart used to skip when youd say you loved me. Maybe thats why it took me so long to realize I have lost myself somewhere along the way. I am no longer just me, I am your “wife,” I am the mother of your child. I am your maid, your chauffeur, your warm v***** when you get sick of being celibate. I am the emotional punching bag when you can no longer hold it in. What makes this all so hilarious you may ask? Apparently, Im not all that good at any of it anyways.