So I’m sitting here in a coffee shop I haven’t been to for six months. Seated across the room and glaring at me are:
Dude — I was his friend but had a problem with how he treated his girlfriend and made that known. She cut him a lot of slack because apparently in the past he had helped her to get off of drugs — leading her to believe he was her soul mate, despite his treating her like garbage. Then she wised up (sort of) and left him. She and I started f****** (unbeknownst to him) meanwhile he’s trying to get me to give him advice on how to get back with her. He finds out about me and his (by then) ex. He gets really pissed off at me, for valid reason, and drunkenly tries to kill me behind a bar. He’s huge, I’m… not. But I dislocate his shoulder, and then call 911 for him (in retrospect, humiliating him). He can’t really afford to miss much work (he worked as a bouncer for a bar), so he went back after 2 weeks instead of 2 months as he had been advised. As a result he re-injures his arm twice, leading to his being fired, stuck with medical bills, and really super into painkillers. At some point during all this he’s f****** the chick (unbeknownst to ME) and gives her herpes. When she tells me she has herpes, I leave her. She’s alone and upset, and he starts giving her some of his painkillers, ironically getting her hooked on drugs again in order to get her back. After showing up to work high too many times, she got fired. Now he’s unemployed, homeless, pops painkillers all the time, and has an unemployed drug addict girlfriend who acts like a b**** all the time and expects him to support her, and he blames me for everything going to s***.
Chick — The girl in this story. She kept drunkenly hitting on me as soon as she was single, and I finally gave up, of course leading to her insistence that I “took advantage” of her. I introduce her to a fetish she didn’t know she had and she has an amazing s***** awakening that leaves her certain she’ll never look at relationships or s** the same way again. Then she starts acting crazy, I suggest to her that she may have histrionic personality disorder, she hates me for it but ultimately has to admit her behavior is odd and agrees to see a psychologist (which is covered by her insurance). She then admits to me that she’s been f****** her ex and now has herpes (which she tries to blame on me — good luck, I test clean), and rather than being understanding of her crazy like she expected, I tell her to f*** right off, thereby convincing her that everything I’d ever said to her up to that point had been lies and manipulation. Now she’s back with her ex, but the two of them will never be the same in terms of trust or s******** (or I guess health now that they both have herpes). Oh and now she’s addicted to painkillers, unemployed and homeless, so safe to say her life is worse subsequent to our little fling.
They’re both glaring at me. I’m pretty sure the dude told people he would kill me if he ever saw me again.
Qris