I once called someone a 'nigga' on a computer game after they had wound me up to the max, i'm pretty sure they were white, but i felt terrible and still

12 years

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I once called someone a ‘n****’ on a computer game after they had wound me up to the max, i’m pretty sure they were white, but i felt terrible and still do about this as i do not have any discriminative feelings against black people, or any other ethnicity, i genuinely treat and feel the same about people no matter what their skin colour or origins. Anyway i felt so bad for conforming to my influences ( i hear the word flung about at school, online, on tv, in songs) and i’d never said it before and would never say it again , but now i’m thinking of myself as a racist and i can’t forgive myself. i feel truly terrible. I also smoked weed a couple of months back although its against my principles. and i had this episode of mutual m*********** with a friend, he proceeded to use my sperm as lubricant. i’m sorry this is peculiar but its made me think of myself as an animal and as a disgusting person. Despite these things, i’m very popular at school and people view me as a nice guy, i can’t appreciate their appreciation when i feel so bad about having done these things. Please would someone help me? 🙁

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Tbh, I’m a woman and love hot guys wearing those little speedo swim suits. Wanna feel their bulge.

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .