Hello, my name is shakiera where do I start?

OK well I am 14 and I have so many secrets I need to get out. 🙂

I have never told anyone this but when I was a little girl, maybe about 6 to 10 years old, I was sexully abused, I know haha wow, well at least that’s what I think its called.

By my grandfather! 🙁 OK I don’t reamber the first time but it happened a few times, well there not in order but I say a few,

OK I was really little I think I was 6 I was at his house with my sister Indy, I was sitting on the little couch across from them,

he put her on his nee or she was sitting beside him, anyway he was putting his hands down her pants touching her down there, I was to little to understand and she was little too 🙁 .

Anthor time was when I was with my step mother and my dad and they went into the shop my grandfather stayed behind in the car with me, and he told me to lean over and he put his hands down my pants and started rubbing, and asked if it felt good, I don’t even know what I said. 🙁

All I was thinking in the car while looking out the window was please somebody help me, see what’s happing, but nobody did. 🙁

Then when my parents come back from the shop and he stopped.

Anthor time was when we went camping, I was about 8 I think, and I went to sleep in the tent beside him, because he was sharing the tent with me,

he put his hand into my undies and started f******** me, and he asked if he was doing it right and I said yes, but he wasn’t.

Anthor time was at my house, when he called me from my bedroom, and he only called me I didn’t come because I was sceard, and he got a bit loader so come down into the longeroom, he put the snip in the door, and he fingered me again, and he got me food out of our cupboard and gave me food for a treat, even thow it was my step moms food.

And another time I reamber was, I stayed over at his house for a night, and In the car on the way there, I started crying to myself in the car but he didn’t know I don’t think, and that was the first time in my life I wish it all would stop and I could just leave, and when we arrived at his house, nothing happened to about tea time then he cooked us dinner, and iii asked to wash my spoon I think it was, thenhe said “shakiera stop”. And I did, he then tryed to pull down my jeans but that day I made sure I put I tight pants and he asked me to pull them down, I said they would go down so he squzed his hand into my undies, and started f******** me and rubbing, he ask if it felt good I think I said yes. 🙁 he then pulled out his p****, and said rub it so I touched it 🙁 he then rubbed it and made himself cumm, I felt said I just wanted a nebioure or somebody to walk in the door, or should I just run run and run but I didn’t I stayed there, the he said ” you can wash your hands now.”

Another time was when I got out of the bath he started washing me with a face washer down there, like f******** me there. 🙁

I haven’t told nobodyyyy ever, I don’t like my family they don’t like me either, I just hate life,sometimes I wish I wasn’t even born.

It doesn’t happen anymore, thank god, I don’t even know what it was hhhhapping to me??

Everybody pretty much hates me, I’m ugly fat got like no friends, what is wrong with me?

Em I depressed or what? I’ve hated life for a few years now. 🙁

Nobody cares about me I’m useless, i m a waste of space, the teachers at school hates me it true, I don’t see a future for me.

Why me? Why was I born?

My step mother, and mother hate me they call me names like …

Blubber
Mung role
C***

My own Mumm wishes I weren’t born too.

My father I don’t know about him he dobbes me into my step mum and says I’m being rude and every think so I get in trouble, life isn’t fair.

My teachers at school hate me, I’m in year 8 , I swear a lot, I wagg and don’t do work, I get in fights sometimes, I just hate life I’m a c***.

Should I of been born? I wasn’t planned or no think.

My siblings pick on me all the time.

Pretty much I don’t care about life I steal, I do any think I just hate myself, everybody else is pretty much perfect.

I’m no think.

Should I get help or what please somebody out there knows, I don’t see a future for myself.

How can I change? I can never tell anybody what happened to me.

What should I do??????? 🙂