13 years
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I developed amnesia several years ago as a result of a neural condition. Most of my past is gone. Most friends and family have been great – showing me photos of things we did together, telling me stories about our time together – helping me recover who i was. They’re great. Then theres my brother. He keeps trying to convince me i was a terrible person. Everyone else says hes lying, but he keeps on and on. Recently he accused me of molesting him when we were younger. I think hes lying – but dont get why he would. Theres this voice at the back of my head going ‘what if i did?’ The worst part is not knowing. I wish there was some way to get my memory back, but the neurologist says those memories are probably gone for good. In the meantime, i have a creep of a brother trying to make my life hell. Ive lost my memory, my career, everything i owned to this condition – isnt that enough???

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .