I’m generally a social smoker and smoke very very rarely at that. Maybe three times a year. Always with people, always very far from home. Today a ran into an old friend who smokes and she offered me a cigarette. Sometimes she gets really bad anxiety and starting freaking out that her mom might find her pack of cigarettes so she ended up giving me the rest of the pack (we’re both 17) There were only about six in there but hey, free cigs. I planned on saving all of them until I was with other friends who smoke but when my mom told me she was leaving to go on a date with her boyfriend I found myself alone and decided to smoke one. I got the genius idea of just opening my bedroom window and kind of half hanging out of it in hopes all the smoke would travel outside and not inside. I was super paranoid that somehow the ash would set fire to our lawn so I went down afterwards to make sure all of it was out when I heard a weird hissing noise. I think the ash might have burned a hole in our hose, but there really isn’t any way to prove that that’s what caused the hole so I think I got off scott-free. Not only that but the hose was on when I went down there, and must have been on all winter but just froze and now with the weather warming up it started gushing. So I actually ended up solving a problem (my mom had said she had heard a weird ticking noise and when she got home from her date she told me the ticking noise stopped) and I didn’t get caught. My room still smells like smoke so that wasn’t the brightest of ideas but I just told her I was going to bed early and she didn’t come in here. Jumped in the shower right when she got home though, she came back sooner than I thought. In my opinion it was a very very narrow save and I feel thoroughly proud of myself. I guess that’s the confession… That I feel proud for getting away with something I almost didn’t, but that I feel guilty for that pride, guilty that I may have ruined our hose, and guilty that I even smoked in the first place when I know it’s bad for you.