I am a 20 year old female and I have struggled with m*********** since I was in elementary school. There have been several periods of one or two years where I was able to stop, and other moments where I would do it multiple times a day. I feel so, so guilty about this. My boyfriend knows that it used to be a stuggle for me, but I can’t bring myself to tell him that I’ve masturbated alone during our relationship. I haven’t done it in several months now, and I always hate myself afterwards.
I am resolved never to do it again. I know it would kill him to find out, and I know it destroys me and my integrity when I do it.