Okay. It all happened because of gluttony. I work in this restaurant and u cannot take fodo from ther after ur time for breakfast lunch dinner is over. Right? And I went there half an horu afetr diner and took some chocolate pudding and danone thing. Put it in my pocket like a hungry little gypsy b****** and ran and the boss of the restaurant. Charming noble man i his 30s stopepd me and I wanted to die of shame. H checked my schedule and saw i had eaten half an hour ago., I WANTED TO DROWN. It;s likel u go there and make yourself a name. Is that me?!?!!?!? A little thief that thinks only with his stomach?I think I lost all of my dignity. Such an ugly thing to do and I lied and lately I do so much I don’t wanna be doing…
it all reminds mew of Baudelaire who says it all:
“Our sins are obstinate, our repentance is faint;
We exact a high price for our confessions,
And we gaily return to the miry path,
Believing that base tears wash away all our stains.”

I AM SORRY I AM NOT WHAT I HAVE TO BE IT IS LIKE I NEVER AM AND NEVER WAS.
DISAPPOINTMENT. UTTER. COMPLETE. DISASTROUS. CONSUMING. DESTRUCTIVE.

For my whole I life I have stood behind the idea that you are what you choose to be. And its all about our choices and we are free but this is illusion. I am in the captive of a monster that I have created and fed and still feed and it overcomes me everytime I do something stupid just to end up being totally unable to look myself in the mirror.
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU.
I will eat those thigns I stole.
Disgrace. We humans cud be there. I hope I choke on that food. If you disappoint those around you and yourself perhaps.. oh well perhaps it would have been better if you had never been born .