I hate being alone. I hate it. And I don’t even think I like girls. I just want to have someone around. I don’t really like s** but I do it to keep people in my life. I feel like everyone is so dissatisfied with me. I have demons. Figuratively and sometimes I actually wish I could allow some spirit to possess me so I can feel ok about the thingd I’m doing. When I am alone, I turn to p***. I don’t like that either. It doesn’t even feel good to self stimulate except for the five to ten seconds of climaxing. I feel like I’m throwing my whole future away just so I don’t have to be alone. Just to feel good for 10 seconds.