They Call Him Pukey. Woke up, took a dump, went on the balcony to smoke a cigarette. As I was standing there smoking though, I started getting really light headed. Sometimes that happens in the morning because I get up too fast before I’m even really awake, so I chose to ignore it.
Fast forward a couple minutes, when I’m about to finish my stogie, I get this even worse feeling like there’s a ball of chunky vomit sitting in my chest. I try to ignore it, but it’s not something that can really be ignored.
So I’m back in bed, drinking tea and watching Halloween movies, hoping all this will pass soon enough so it’ll stop bothering me.
I thought I was over morning sickness. I usually only get it when I’m really stressed about something. But right now, everything is pretty content, there isn’t much to complain about in my life right now, so, I don’t know what’s going on. Hopefully this is a one day thing, and won’t stretch beyond that, because if this is what I had two years ago, when I lost 90 pounds for no reason over the span of eight months, I can say goodbye to any plans I had these next few months and prepare myself for that Hell again.
The only way I got over it the first time, was because there were some extremely positive things happeneing, and they took my mind far enough away from all those s****y thoughts long enough to reverse their effects and let me continue being normal and somewhat healthy.
During times like this, where stress and history rule over happiness and the future, I have to force myself to stay positive. I need to remember that right now, there’s nothing wrong with my life, nothing to be stressed about besides the trouble my sister ran into.
My three new “Art of. . .” books came in yesterday and the day before. I guess during this idle time when I’m holding my stomach and watching younger teenagers on television getting hacked to bits, I can hone in on my drawing and work on a more realistic approach to my drawings. Something that doesn’t say “Disneyland on meth” but more “If meth went to Disneyland” if that even makes sense to anyone.
My phones making me dizzy. I’m out.
