I f****** hate myself. Like, I can no longer stand to look in the mirror. I don’t dress up anymore because I want to know what the point is. My hair never gets down anymore, it’s been a rat’s nest of curls on my head for the past week. I look in the mirror, & I see an okay face staring back at me. I mean, people tell me all the time I’m pretty. It’s just that recently, I’ve stopped believing it. & let me not forget to tell you how I’ve gained over 30lbs since high school. Everyone says it’s because I’ve gotten taller…. That’s only cuz they haven’t seen me naked. I now am the owner of back fat which comes with three rolls, a mom pouch (haven’t even had a baby), and fat arms. Let’s not forget my rolly a** neck. No one seems to see this. & I despise looking in the mirror. I’M F****** HUGE. It’s come to the point where I don’t even want to go out in public anymore. I wish I could go back to when I was a twig. I blame my weight for why he doesn’t love me anymore. Or maybe it’s because I’ve become an insecure little brat. I just wish I was dead….. No matter how confident I act, I’ll never actally feel it on the outside.
