I am so petty and insecure. I try so hard to look good and do maintenance and upkeep. I have professional photoshoots, and get all made up. All of this, because I hope and pray that my enemies will be jealous of me. I wish horrible,vile things upon them, but I guess at least I don’t go out into the world and vocalize it. I just internalize it all and keep changing myself. They probably don’t waste one minute of their day thinking about me, but I obsess over my hatred of them. I’m so insecure, because I’ve been lied to, hurt, and betrayed. Boo hoo right? Will this feeling ever end? I just want to take a deep breathe and feel secure with myself and happy.
