My elder brother used to touch me when I was 10 years old, up until I was almost 13.
I lost my virginity to him, because he took it. I didn’t want any of it, he used to give me money, and I felt cheap. I wasn’t a prostitute, I was a little girl.
When Id had enough I used to pretend to be asleep because I couldn’t face the humility of it as he used to prod between my legs.
Its been a few years now. But I still feel disgusting.
I’m worried that when I first have s** with someone else I will look used and abused, not as if they will know, but I will.
And when I finally settle down with someone, how will I explain that I was repeatedly raped by my older brother and they are sharing the same f****** v*****.
Ugh, I hate myself, but Im too selfish to end my life.
I will probably keep the secret my whole life, nobody knows and nobody will. I will be plagued forever. Always on my mind.