Do you still think of me? I miss you. It has been a long time since I saw your face, heard your voice. I reached out to you first. I told you how I felt. I do not regret that. I am so happy to hear through the grapevine that you are doing better, after your incident. I want you to know that you do not have to go through this alone. Your friends love you and will help you in any way we can. I want you to be happy. I want to see you.
I do not judge you for what you did. I feel what I have done to you is no good either. Yes I am still with my boyfriend, we got back together and I blew you off. But it was only because I was going through some things. Other than you, he was the only person who knew the whole story. The only exception is that he had witnessed what was actually going on with me. It was easier to go back to him than to start something knew. He was dealing with s*** too. He needed me and I needed someone who was actually there.
I have never given you the proper chance you deserve. I am a terrible liar. I am telling the truth when I say I think about you every single day and every night before I sleep. I have never told you how smart and s*** and talented you are. You truly inspire me. I want you to see all the great things that can happen if you move away from that place. I just don’t think you will ever take the chance. You have a girlfriend now. But I wonder, do you ever think of me? Do you feel about me the way I feel about you? How can I talk to you? How can I get ahold of you? How can I hold you and tell you everything will be alright.
Sometimes I dream that one day Ill go back home and all of our friends will be together again and happy and sharing a bowl or a beer. And you’ll walk in and I will look into your sad blue eyes and we will have found each other again. You are the only one to kiss me right. You are the only one to hold me right while I sleep. There are many times when you have comforted me, but I tried to hide it because I knew it was wrong. But I am ready for it to be so so right and so real. I miss you. I love you. I imagine that once I finally see you again you will hug me so tightly like we did before. That you will love me. That we can start our lives together. We can run away together like we always said we would. You can teach me more than one song on the guitar and I will paint for you late in the night. I would f*** you so so sweetly every morning and every evening. I will kiss you as hard and as good as you kiss me. We will be together. Maybe.
Do you ever think of me?
