alright I have never let on much to close friends but I have given up over 10 years of my life for someone, and kills me to see him with someone else. its been the story of my life.

I am a careful person by nature and mostly cautious of a lover but I can fall quickly and for many a charming man. I always have list of who I secretly like but if I was married it would not be an issue. I would be having a completely fulfilling s***** life with one man. if anything that is what I do long for. it would be nice to have about 6 or 8 weeks of full on s** with a guy I love.

physical desire is one thing and love from the heart is another, as yet I have never had s** with either those two, only on cyber s** chat.

sometimes I crave s** with a man I love and other times I do engage in fantasies of lust. I don’t know if its normal. I don’t know if I would act on it however being so cautious.

caution for a good dam reason!