I have fucked up my own life. I’m the shittiest person anyone will ever know, I have fucked up the relationships with all my family members including my parents. I attempted suicide last winter and am a frequent self harmer, two things I’ve never told anyone, except for someone I thought [decently] cared, they told me how I was selfish, stupid [which I get 100%, self harm is stupid] told me about how I’ve fucked everything up in my life already, and how much they loathed me. My parents think I hate them, The only reason I came out so early was because my dad knew I was hiding something, he stood on the stairs screaming how I didn’t trust him and kept stuff from him. I have maybe 2 solid friendships with people that I don’t even think like me, I want a relationship with my parents but constantly push them away, I wallow in self pity and I hate myself for it. I feel it’s too late to change myself, I’m a 15 year old demonic b****, I wanted to act as a career, that’s NEVER going to happen (I’m ugly as F U C K). I wish there was a way to go missing, run away from the life I’m living, never have to think about the life I led before because I hate everything about it. I guess I could just die, as they say “If you fail, try, try again.”
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“People think suicide takes the pain away. Truth is, it just passes the pain on to someone else.”
Your life is way too precious. Ask a leper or a victim of acid attack if they’d trade place with you. They’ll do it in a heartbeat. Please count your blessings. If you commit suicide, you’ll basically bring depression and suicidal thoughts onto your own parents.
Please learn to count your blessings and forget about suicide. FORGET ABOUT IT!!!
I went through something like that about 3 or 4 years ago… Stay strong, it’s never to late to change if you’re feeling uncomfortable with some aspects of your life. Be brave and like my favorite band said, compassion is a beautiful thing, so show some for yourself.