I can’t help but notice everything about him..
His eyes change color in different lighting.
His eyes can show so many different emotions, my favorite is when he’s confused.
He wears shirts that are just short enough to see part of his stomach when he stretches up.
When he wears t********** shirts, I can see his n***** piercings.
He wears his pants low enough to show of part of his back.
I just stare at him.
I love watching his habits, seeing him laugh, pretending that he feels the same way.

I like to pretend I’m not some kiddy looking girl, but I am.
I love when he looks at me and tells a joke and then squints his eyes and laughs like he genuinely means it.

I hate how I act different when I’m alone with, I’m always so cold towards him when I feel the exact opposite.

I wish I didn’t fantasize about him and I wish that I could appear sweet and kind to him.

Sometimes he catches me looking at him and I don’t know how to hold eye contact..

Most of all I wish that it was okay to have a more than friends relationship with your instructor.
Yes I am 17 and he is 26, and yes he is kind of like my teacher, but if I say he’s my instructor it makes it seem not as bad.
I don’t think he could ever be attracted to me, I’m not an attractive person.
I hate seeing him look at women who are his age, I become so jealous and get so self conscious and I could never be like the women that he looks at.
I try not to feel this way but he makes my heart hurt and it pisses me off, and I always look forward to being around him, I get so bummed when things don’t work out like I’d like them, then again I don’t think that things have ever worked out as I would have liked them to.
I just wanna get over this feeling move on, but then he smiles, and I think that it might work, but I need to realize that he just smiles at anyone, him smiling at me doesn’t make me special… At all