I feel guilty cuz my cousin just told me she was pregnant, and I kind of felt a jealous feeling. I am 30 and stil unmarried, because my mother sabotages me getting into a relationship. She is so possessive that it sickens me. I was very very thrilled to hear the news about her baby. I was already making up names, and having all kinds of happy thoughts, and suddenly I got scared that I will never have that. I hope god forgives me for this feeling, because I wish her all the happiness in the world. I just wish I would meet someone and fall in love. My past relationships have been secret because of the fact my mom makes my live a hell. I fell in love with an divorced man, and she called me all kinds of names, while the only thing I did was fell in love. On top pf that he also started to treat me as if I am worthless. Can you blame him if your own mother treats you that way… Well anyways, I just wanted to get this of my chest before I lay down to pray. I thought maybe this would be easier to let go.

Thanks.