so I was telling this new friend of mine (let's call him Mr A) about this photography exhibition of another friend (let's call him Mr B). Next thing Mr A

14 years

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so I was telling this new friend of mine (let’s call him Mr A) about this photography exhibition of another friend (let’s call him Mr B).

Next thing Mr A tells me ‘hey let’s go and criticise Mr B’s work you and I? I bet you’re better than him! yeh come on let’s go!!’

I was like ‘wtf??? I want to go and enjoy the exhibition not criticize and degrade!! hello!!’

But he didn’t listen and now I really don’t want to be around someone with toxic thoughts like Mr A who doesn’t understand that art is not a competition.

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A but t load of buddy juice clears my mimd. Cor v

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i want to end myself and i have suicidal thoughts thinking how should i die (i often think about hanging) and i imagine myself when i am doing the deed. i have fallen quite low and it is hard to stand up again. i have been having family issues (mainly with my dad) aside from my own personal problems. even if i vent this to someone, i know that their words are not enough. it is unfortunate for me that i got the miserable version of life haha… maybe if i was more pleasant, people would’ve treated me differently and my father wouldn’t even verbally abuse me. i have been like this for months now. some days i feel better but once triggered, everything comes back and i am miserable again. i really don’t want this life and the urge to end it is very strong. i have fallen out of my faith in God so to end this all, i think i should end the root of everything which is me because i realized that i might be the problem. that is all.