About 8 years ago I falsely accused someone of r***. I knew as soon as I told the lie that it was the wrong thing to do. I regretted it the moment I told the lie and before I knew it the whole thing was spiraling out of my control.
He didn’t try to r*** me, he did try and pressure me into s** and performing oral s** on him. He also tried to convince me not to go to school so that he could take me to an empty park for some privacy the next day. Yes, he was a bad person for that, but he wasn’t a r***** as far as I’m aware.
I was about 15 at the time, and he was about 19.
Before anything could happen I dropped the charges.
To this day I have told absolutely nobody that I lied, and now I suffer with extreme anxiety and depression.
I don’t even think I deserve forgiveness or counsel, but I’m tearing myself apart over this.
I’ve thought about killing myself over what I did, I can’t forgive myself and I’m miserable and in constant terror that one day it’ll come back to bite me even though I dropped the charges.